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Ovedya's Ponderings has moved.

2008-03-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

Ovedya's Ponderings has a new Blogger address!

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Okay.......and........go: http://www.ovedyasponderings.blogspot.com

Monday's Morons: Hugo Chavez and "Hams for Hanukkah"

2007-12-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

If Hugo Chavez isn't traveling around the world spouting off anti-American rhetoric and forming alliances with some of the most evil despotic dictators known to man, he's at home thinking up new ways to be forever remembered as one of the world's biggest morons.

We've all heard his anti-American rhetoric.
We've all heard his ridiculous conspiracy theories about "the Imperialist West."
We've all heard about the stifling of free speech in his own country.
We've all heard how he wants to be the president of Venezuela for life.

Now, bigger, better....dumber, the Jedi Master of Moronity Hugo Chavez wants to create an entire time zone, just for Venezuela. What will the time zone be? An hour ahead? No. An hour behind, perhaps? No. He wants to set the clocks a half an hour back, to create a new time zone just for Venezuela.

To his critics Chavez says: "I don't care if they call me crazy, the new time will go ahead,"

Crazy? Naw. Hugo, you're not crazy at all.

Stupid?

Yep.

Next up on the chopping block is a little store in - get this - Manhattan New York of all places, called Balducci's. Apparently Balducci's has a pretty good deal on Hams for the Jewish holiday Hanukkah. What's that you say? Jews don't eat ham? Say it ain't so! They....what? TYou mean they don't even eat pork? Well someone better tell Balducci's or they're never going to get rid of those Hanukkah hams!

Morons!

(Special thanks to NancyKay Shapiro for taking pictures for her blog. You can see them at: http://nancykayshapiro.livejournal.com/35633.html?style=mine )

;o)

She looks like...

2007-12-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

A beaver...

Eco-Lunacy

2007-11-26T00:13:00.000-08:00

Eco-Lunacy has, at it's core, one basic tenet: That the human race is basically a parasite on the face of the planet. To the eco-lunatic the definition of a "wet dream" is one in which the human species ceases to exist and "mother earth" is saved, free to live a "human-virus" free life.

Morons.

All of them.

Okay, so it's probably FABULOUS to the eco-lunatic who wants to sterilize herself in order to "save the planet". I mean, hey, one or two less idiots that we have to avoid on our way to the chemical plant, right? But what frightens me the most is the APPLAUSE these dufi (plural of "dufus") get from people.

"Save the planet"? Who the hell are we saving it for? Certainly not YOUR CHILDREN. Okay, so you don't want to have kids. Great! Lots of people don't want to have kids. Lots of women get their tubes tied and lots of men get vasectomies. But let's not have any illusions about "doing our part to save the planet" here, okay? Because, quite frankly, the fact that you refuse to "breed" isn't going to contribute anymore to "saving the planet" than my choice drink bottled water rather than tap (I actually read once where someone claimed that drinking bottled water helped to "save the planet."). So the only thing that you've proven - the only statement you are really making by getting yourself sterilized - is that you are a completely mindless ninny whose choosing to make a political statement with the castration of your reproductive organs.

Let's get something straight about "Global Warming," okay? Let's just get one thing clear: If the planet is, in fact, "warming" - if greenhouse gasses are increasing in our atmosphere because of the direct influence of human beings - how much do you think that you are helping to "save the planet" in the grand scheme of things by simply not having children? The population rate of the world is exponential. Even if - that's a huge "if" - a significant number of men and women got themselves sterilized, would that just be prolonging the inevitable? Scientists say that at current warming rates the climate will change significantly in the next 100 years - or not.

Possibly not. They're not exactly certain about that. Could be 100, could be 100,000....give or take.

But then of course, since, according to a couple of BIG BRAINS in the world of quantum mechanics, humans may have already screwed the entire universe just by looking at it. Gee, that's funny. I thought they were looking out into space in order to find out how we all got here. Maybe they should have just kept their eyes shut and nothing would have every happened.

Think I'll go out and burn a tire in my front yard.

Just want to "do my part" after all.

;o)

Polite Distances

2007-07-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Saw this on YouTube today whilst surfing about:

Simply brilliant.

Have I got a deal for you!

2007-07-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

Show me a man who pays $55.00 for water and I'll show you an idiot with too much money.

Apparently water (You know, that stuff that occasionally rains down from the sky and collects in lakes and rivers?) is the new choice for conesseurs, according to an article on WCBSTV.com (Click to read).

About 3/4 of the way down the article, a woman by the name of "Felicissimo," who owns - get this - a "water bar" in New York called "Via Genova" says, "There are so many people that are uneducated about water."

That is the most idiotic thing I think I have ever read. "Uneducated" about water?

WATER??!!!

Photo Caption

2007-07-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a photo that you can caption in the comments section, if you like. As captions come in, I'll re-post them under the pictures, with links to your blogs. Sounds like a pretty good deal, right?

"So I eat this mushroom, right? And next thing I know.. I'm like 6 inches tall and the mushrooms are HUGE!!!" ~ Trish (Incoherent-ish)

"Holy crap that's a big ass SHROOM!" - KristinaQ

Monday's Morons (On Wednesday?)

2007-04-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

They were Monday's Morons...Possibly Tuesday's Twits...but since I've only finally gotten around to actually posting today - Wednesday - they'll have to be "Wednesday's Whiners."

And really they both are whiners, when it gets right down to it. The whole debate over Global Warming between those who believe that human beings are going to cause the destruction of the entire planet - TOMORROW - and those who believe that there could be other causes (Such as sun activity and...cow farts - read: Bovine Gas Emissions), with the whole politicizing of the issue itself and the increasing number of celebrity morons jumping on the bandwagon, has grown into a din of increasing whining idiocy. It hits me in a certain place on the spine that causes an electrical surge directly to my mouth, causing me to spontaneously blurt "bullshit" quite loudly.

So first up on the block we have Cheryl Crow who, on Monday, apparently claimed that we should all do our part to fight Global Warming by using "only one square [of toilet paper] per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". (SOURCE)

When I read this on Monday I got the spine thing again...

So I was really happy when I saw the article on the Smoking Gun showing Crow's dressing room requirements. Although the article focussed on the amount of liquor she requires in her dressing room, I was more interested in the fact that Crow is apparently a smoker. According to the list, she requires 1 pack of Marlboro Lights to be placed in her dressing room, as well as an assortment of ashtrays (page 4).

Idiot. If that's not the height of hypocrisy, I'm not sure what is. Cheryl's got the gall to publicly state that we should use a minimum amount of toilet paper in order to stave off Global Warming when she herself (And likely most of her band) are directly contributing to the problem by belching cigarette smoke into the air. Oh yeah, and I'll bet that touring bus of hers is really easy on the emissions too.

Next up, Hillary Clinton.

Now I know that she's getting plenty of knocks in the press as it is (sure..), and I know that many conservatives like me just love to pick on her, but really, how much more easy could she have made it on herself by changing her Park Ridge Illinois accent to that of a southern black woman?

I mean, seriously, who does she think she's fooling here?

Anyone else getting just sick - I mean "sick" as in "If I hear or read any more political BS I am going to vomit up my left lung, a kidney, and very possibly my right nut" - of politics? Last I checked we weren't scheduled for another Presidential election for about a year-and-a-half. I wonder if these people even have a clue that the American public is going to be so burn out, so sick of listening to the din of idiocy by then that it's actually going to harm them more than benefit them. Probably not. I'm sure that some people - even many people - though that Hillary's impression of Al Sharpton made her more palatable. More like "one of us regular folk." She's not fooling me. I don't think that Sheryl's "one or two sheets" could clean up that amount of BS.

Until next time...

;o)

Allison Crowe - Hallelujah

2007-04-19T16:43:00.000-07:00

Saw this today and though again about all the fathers and mothers who lost their children this week.

Our Prayers are with you

2007-04-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

Our prayers go out to the families of those killed in the Virginia Tech. Massacre...

:o(